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Rocky Ground

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Fjord

by George Wolf

Fjord is a film that feels out of step with the world that exists today, and that’s one of the many reasons it is so quietly riveting.

What is this nuance, this juggling of social complexities that acknowledges opposing forces and the unyielding march of time? Where is the moral absolutism that demands lines drawn with a knee jerk commitment to whataboutism and tribal boundaries?

And the title suggests, writer/director Cristian Mungiu is interested in navigating the small spaces between rocky, mountainous terrain that threatens to overwhelm anything up against it. Inspired by the 2015 case of one Romanian couple in his native Norway, Mungiu reportedly spent years researching other child welfare cases in Europe to craft his searing dissection of a tragic culture clash.

Sebastian Stan and Renate Reisve star as Mihai and Lisbet Gheorghius, a Romanian couple who move to Norway with their five children. They are deeply religious and strict with their parenting, and soon find themselves pitted against a local judicial system at odds with their beliefs.

After a teacher notices bruises on one of the Gheorghius children, an investigation is launched that leads to putting them in foster care, and possible criminal charges for Mihai and Lisbet. Their culture, their religion, their entire worldview falls under scrutiny of a small group of new neighbors.

Mungiu’s camera gracefully asserts the titular metaphors with gorgeous framing of the imposing Norwegian landscapes, then allows Oscar nominees Stan and Reinsve to move throughout a stellar ensemble with astounding intimacy. Though dialog-heavy, the film’s frequent points and counters are thoughtful and organic, with some smaller moments made impactful via pointed production and set design choices.

This is thoughtful, assured and deeply felt storytelling. Most importantly, there are no easy answers here and no tidy bows, and the film is better for it. Fjord gives you plenty of stones in the road to one family’s reunion – religious values, secular social orders, the right to live, love and end life as you wish. How you stack them is up to you.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Asami Yamakazi

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*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Weird at My School

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The Weird Kidz

by Hope Madden

Let’s say you just watched Wildwood, and you need more animation. I’m going to be honest, The Weird Kidz would be an odd choice. But not a bad one.

Writer/director Zach Passero’s animation style bends a little closer to a decidedly white trash version of South Park, but the visuals perfectly suit the film’s low-fi, late 80s vibe. Somewhere in the New Mexico desert, sixth grader Dug (Tess Passero) and his buddies Fatt (Brian Ceely) and Mel (Glenn Bolton) head out for a cool camping weekend with Dug’s high school senior brother, Wyatt (Ellar Coltrane) and his very cool girlfriend, Mary (Sydney Wharton).

Yes, Wyatt needles his little brother and calls all the boys “scrote.” Indeed, he may not be a great choice to keep an eye on a gaggle of middle schoolers, especially once the murderous monster emerges. But Passero’s writing is full of genuine fondness for these characters, and they for each other, no matter what dangerously idiotic things they may do.

Hand-drawn over eight years, Passero’s film is an obvious labor of love, a crudely drawn but not inaccurate remembrance of a time when children went unsupervised. Youngsters were free to waste hours on end at a convenience store racking up an arcade game high score and eyeing the covers of porn magazines. Adults would look the other way as pre-teens shoplifted beers and headed, seatbelt free, out to the desert. You could just walk around with BB guns. The delightfully crude animation fits right in.

As does the violence, because dangerously idiotic choices often lead to bad places.

Passero never gives up on his kids, and I don’t mean that in a traditionally wholesome way. Mary’s been in the back seat of a squad car before. None of them have much of a future, and Passero presents them without judgment. The way his characters—dumbasses, all—care for each other is probably my favorite part of the film.

The Weird Kidz turns from sweetly raunchy comedy to horror comedy with little difficulty and without losing any of the unapologetic authenticity of its Gen X childhood vibe.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Aunt Gladys

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My darling niece,

Oh, my dear, dear girl! I was thinking of you this morning, those freckles across your nose and that little toothless grin, the pigtails bouncing when you played kickball at the park. Do you remember? I came to stay with you and my darling sister, my only sister…my only family….well, that was back when you were so small, back when I first learned about my condition. I want you to know that the memory of those two weeks with you and your family is a treasure I revisit often.

Oh, Pumpkin, I hate to ask. I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to! To become a burden, well, I hope you never know the feeling. But my condition has worsened and worsened since your mom and dad died. It’s almost as if it was their love, their energy, their life force that was keeping me healthy! And with them gone, well, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. My energy just drains from me day by day. 

I wonder, my beautiful niece, my only family, would you consider allowing me the grace of spending my final days with your beautiful family? I haven’t seen little Alex since he was a tiny baby. Does he still have those glorious eyelashes? He was such a pretty boy! How comforting it would be to get to absorb a bit of that love and affection you and your lovely family share.

And, well, I hate to admit it but I just have nowhere else to go! I promise not to be too much of a parasite! But just to be near family would mean so much. And maybe a little of that warmth, the very life you all share, could fill me with the energy to get better!

Oh, I do hope you understand! My plane arrives on Tuesday. I’ll see you then!

All my love,

Aunt Gladys

*by Hope Madden. Voiceover Hope Madden. Audio production George Wolf. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Art

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Dear Hiring Manager,

I’m responding to your advert for performers. I perform. Life is a performance. Death, too. 

Originally, I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I loved the theatricality, the idea of having my hand inside someone, working their mouths, turning their head this way and that. You can be playful. It’s hands on. And I didn’t mind the mess.

But I hated all the talking. When the dummy stopped making its own noise, I lost interest. 

How do I still entertain, still feed that artistic need, without losing my integrity as a performer? How can I combine the hands-on partnership of ventriloquism with, say, the commanding theatricality of a mime? 

A clown, dear hiring manager. I am a clown and a showman of the highest order. 

There is intimacy between myself and my audience that no other clown can replicate. I feel my audience. My audience feels me. We connect. I laugh, they cry, it’s art. 

I am art. 

You’ll never hire another clown like me.

Yours in Buffoonery,

AC

*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Jerry Dandridge

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To the Rancho Corvallis Neighbors Association, hello!

I’m Jerry Dandridge and my friend, carpenter Billy Cole, and I have just taken possession of the rather vintage property at 99 Oak St. We restore older homes, and as this place looks to be a somewhat extensive investment of our time, we thought we’d get ourselves acquainted with the neighborhood.

First off, we are harmless. (I do hope my humor is as easy to read as it is to write!) And while Billy’s a bit of an introvert, I am an unrepentant people person happy to accept any invitation into your homes for a chat or a bite. The one thing I love as much as restoring older homes to their original charm and beauty is getting to know the people who live in the surrounding homes, to put my finger on the pulse of the neighborhood, feel its heartbeat. 

I promise, Billy will keep his noisy hammering and sawing to the afternoons. I’m still commuting in the daytime to our previous property, but you may see me around evenings, taking in the night air. I’ll warn you, though, wave me over once and invite me in and you may never get rid of me!

Let me apologize in advance to those who live nearest, Billy and I do sometimes unwind late at night with a good scary movie. I promise to try to remember to mind the time and the volume, but at least your new neighbors aren’t in a rock band! (Jokes, everybody! I’m full of them!)

Again, we look forward to becoming a part of your neighborhood and we can’t wait to get to know each one of you.

~Jerry

*by Hope Madden. Voiceover and audio production by Riley Wolfington. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Jack Torrance

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LinkedIn.com/jacktorrance

Jack Torrance

Caretaker

Seeking New Opportunities

I have an abiding curiosity and disciplined work ethic. These are the common threads weaving through every seemingly disparate career choice I’ve made.

I’m a Jack of all trades: a teacher, a storyteller, a handyman especially capable with an ax. A dependable team player you’ll be glad you have on your side. I’m seeking opportunities to put minds at ease, to shoulder a burden, to be the reason you relax knowing everything is in order, under control and cared for.

My areas of passion include:

• creative writing

• historical properties

• interpersonal communication

Looking for a new challenge or an old opportunity. Willing to relocate. Some shy away from all work and no play. Not me!  I’m not afraid of a little hard work or solitude. 

In my spare time I like to throw a ball around, I enjoy a good party, and I especially love a snowy adventure with my beautiful family. 

Specializations: writer | teacher | father | caretaker | always a caretaker

*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

New In Theaters

Inheritors of a Wonderful World

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Wildwood

by Hope Madden

Laika Studios don’t produce a lot of movies, but the films they make are remarkable. Kubo and the Two Strings has been the high-water mark, but Coraline set their path. The gorgeous stop motion, the perilous adventures, the emotionally rich and intelligent stories together mark each of the studio’s efforts.

The same goes for Wildwood, their latest, a hero’s journey set in the studio’s own back yard.

Prue (Peyton Elizabeth Lee) lives in Oregon with her parents and her toddler brother, Mac. Her overprotective, hippie parents don’t let Mac out of the house, but Prue thinks that’s dumb and takes him on his own wee adventure. Promptly, Mac is abducted by a massive murder of crows and carted off to the Impassable Wilderness. In an attempt to rescue her brother, Prue drags (inadvertently) the goofy Curtis (Jacob Tremblay) into said wilderness. But there’s a reason it’s impassable, and a reason Prue can get inside. What she finds in there is a magical quest.

“Magical quest” are not words that appeal to me. They’re not actually words that appeal to Prue, either, which is part of the reason Wildwood works so well.

The voice cast doesn’t hurt. Mahershala Ali, Angela Bassett, Charlie Day, Tom Waits, Jemaine Clement, Awkwafina, Carey Mulligan, Jake Johnson, Richard E. Grant, Blythe Danner and more bring this epic to vivid life.

Directed by Travis Knight (Kubo and the Two Strings, Masters of the Universe) and based on Colin Meloy’s beloved fantasy novel, Wildwood offers a beguiling tale masterfully articulated with stop motion animation and powerful performances. It is glorious to look at, the animation astonishing, the intricacy of the environment and the nuance in each character is just breathtaking.

And while the film is an immediate crowd pleaser, it is not meant to entertain the very young. There are battle scenes here worthy of a live-action period epic. Battle scenes mean violence and death, and these animators shy away from neither.

There’s humor, some of it cynical, and love, emotion and some great needle drops. The film is spooky at times, magical at times, breathless and beguiling. While every Laika film has been a treasure, Wildwood is probably their most polished jewel.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Cap. Ryan

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TO: Mjr. General Callum, Special Weapons Division

FR: Cap. Ryan, Special Operations

RE: On-ground Reconnaissance and Proposal

Report

Major General. A spate of missing persons cases in the highlands of Scotland, evidence of animal attacks, and testimony from one local—a zoological expert—provided intelligence enough to merit an investigation into a very real threat to society in the area, and a greater threat should the beast ever leave the highlands.

Our reconnaissance confirms rumors of a large, aggressive predator. Said predator has claimed the lives of at least two dozen over the course of the last several months. Attacks follow a lunar cycle, feeding at every full moon. We expect a reappearance of the predator on May 11.

All data suggests a beast unlike anything currently captive, indeed, unlike any we’ve seen before. Its size, aggression, tactical behavior, resilience to injury, and elusive nature suggest a specimen worth study. 

I have personally seen incontrovertible proof of the beast, sir. I now know what lives in the shadows.

Proposal

Sir. I propose that you allow my unit to exercise the expertise and craft we’ve honed over the last two years. Supplied with the appropriate materials—tranquilizers, night vision, repellant spray—and outfitted with a team of expendables to lure the beast, we can take this trophy for the Crown. Dead or alive, the beast could offer our science officers insight into body armor, bio-accommodations, defense, and possibly bio-weaponry.

Request

In keeping with earlier communication concerning the satisfaction of the mission, sir, I’d like to suggest we commission the unit led by Sgt. Thomas Wells as our beta team. Though an unheralded lot not likely to be missed by Her Majesty’s Army, one soldier in particular—Pvt. Cooper—having been rejected from my unit, has at least the requisite skill and predictable adherence to training to be trusted to lead our prey to us. He can also be trusted not to overcome the enemy and ruin the Crown’s prize. The man couldn’t harm a dog.

*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Hope Madden and George Wolf … get it?