Outtakes

Villain Diaries: The Rotten

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AITA?

Freedom is all anyone wants, really. You may say power, but without freedom, what good is power? What good is money, what good is sex? There is nothing without freedom. 

I am not the villain. Not the asshole. I yearn for freedom. It isn’t easy. Freedom is never easy. But you find allies. The afraid and the unafraid. Children are unafraid. Evil loves children because children are chaos, they cause chaos, adults erupt into chaos around them, and chaos is my freedom.

Rage also creates chaos. Men. Stupid men desperate to control the situation who know nothing except lashing out, who refuse logic, who scream and punch and grab. Chaos! Gorgeous, bloody chaos, they are as ideal, as instrumental in creating my chaos, in freeing me, as children. 

Children will slaughter the logical. Raging men will abandon the logical to the slaughter. But more important, raging men will always finally trust their truth: violence. Their violence is my freedom.

I am called Rotten. But I am freedom.

*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

New In Theaters

Main Character Syndrome

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Terrestrial

by George Wolf

You notice Steve Pink as the director, and then you glimpse both Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry in the opening minutes, and you’re thinking Terrestrial may be another raunchy comedy with a sci-fi catalyst on the order of Hot Tub Time Machine.

The raunch got left behind, but there’s a decent, darkly comic mystery here that’s rooted in science fiction, fandom, a pack of lies and some good ol’ writer’s block.

Allen (Jermaine Fowler) is a struggling science fiction writer who could be on the verge of something big. He fanboys the sci-fi novels of “The Neptune Files” series, and idolizes their author, SJ Purcell (Brendan Hunt from Ted Lasso). Allen’s devotion carries over to the cheesy Neptune Files TV show, and those fictionalized clips (starring Robinson and Corddry) are cheeky and charming.

The mystery begins when Allen’s college buds (James Morosini, Pauline Chalamet, Edy Modica) visit him at his new L.A. mansion. They’re happy for their old friend’s success, but start to wonder about Allen’s odd behavior and the big paydays that hit before his first book is even finished.

What’s really going on here?

To find out, Pink and screenwriters Connor Diedrich and Samuel Johnson take us back to three months earlier, and the film is instantly elevated by a captivating, self-aware thriller vibe. Fowler’s (Sorry to Bother You, Faces of Death, The Blackening) ability to transmit Allen’s refusal to let his slowly growing panic derail the bigger plan is a frantic delight, and it keeps your interest grounded when events get bloody and more than a little spacey.

Pink effectively juggles the story – and the story within the story – for a solid setup, but Act Three can’t quite deliver on the promise. Pink scripted both Grosse Point Blank and High Fidelity some years back, and this friend reunion could have used more of the cynical bite he brought to those interactions. Terrestrial seems satisfied to ramp up the body count, and crawl across the finish line out of breath.

New In Theaters

Good Is in the Wood

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Wicker

by Hope Madden

Even if the Wicker trailer didn’t have you salivating over an Alexander Skarsgård shaped basket, this cast list should do it: Olivia Colman, Peter Dinklage, Elizabeth Debicki, Richard E. Grant, and, of course, under a lot of titular twigs, Skarsgård.

Writers/directors Alex Huston Fischer and Eleanor Wilson (Save Yourselves!) take full advantage of that cast to bring Ursula Wills’s short story “Wicker Husband” to silver screen life.

In some fairy tale village, the ostracized Fisherwoman (Colman, magnificent as always), tired of being both alone and the butt of village jokes, commissions a husband from Master Basket Weaver (Dinklage). He makes her a Skarsgård.

Fischer and Wilson’s script lengthens and complicates the source material with rich characters, cheeky situations, and frighteningly authentic peril. Told as a fable, Wicker picks the patriarchy scab, particularly its heroic efforts to undermine human connections and respect. This remarkable cast mines the clever script for laughs and pathos and a couple of real surprises, some of them with bite.

The Fisherwoman’s happiness, the genuine love and respect shared by the pair, stirs a frenzy of jealousy, lust, and insecurity in the village. Debicki’s conniving Tailor’s Wife (or Doctor’s Daughter, depending on who you ask) delivers subtle, controlled malice and ensemble players—Ella Bruccoleri and Ben Ashenden, in particular—give the village real flavor. 

Dinklage is a saucy delight and Skarsgård’s believable tenderness leaves you feeling very protective of Mr. Wicker. Though he delivers his lines as an innocent, the writing itself is so sharp and poetic and Skarsgård is so expressive despite the prosthetics, that Wicker easily becomes the most romantic film of 2026.

But of course, it’s Colman who owns the film. Able to glide from comedy to heart wrenching drama in the blink of an eye, she delivers a deeply human performance that ensures the winky concept never feels like a gimmick.

There is much depth and beauty, as well as recognizable human fault, beneath the witty concept. And if that doesn’t do it for you, this cast will have you swooning.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Remmick

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Gather, friends! 

Those who are left behind. Those who yearn for fellowship. Community. The power to build, to create, to thrive. To survive. Freedom from those who would hold you down. Who would, if it were within their power, enslave you.

Accept my greeting. And take—please, take—all that I have to give. It is more than you can conceive, unless you let your mind travel. Ease. Bounty. Camaraderie. Power. But not equality. No. No, we would never settle for equality. 

What will it cost you? Not one penny. Not one penny! I don’t ask for your worldly possessions, only for what lives inside you, burning to get out. To be freed. To be shared!

In return I offer power to the powerless. Hope to the hopeless. Strength to the weak and life to those barely hanging on. Everything and more than that.

Take me in. Take me into your homes, your families, your lives, your very beating hearts and know freedom as you have never known it, never even dreamed it. It’ll just cost you a song. 

~Remmick

*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Dracula

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*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Mr. Cooper

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AITA?

Everything was fine. We were fine! We were in the basement, obviously the safest place to be. Only one door to worry about! Nice bar on it! So, we were down there, Helen giving me that look, but we were fine. And yeah, we heard the girl scream upstairs. So what of it?! Like you would have done any different! What am I going to do, risk these women, a sick kid? Five of those things flipped over my car! Hell no, we’re staying put, in the basement, where we’re safe. 

And then that stupid boy had to go see what was going on. Damn him! He heard a radio and said we needed to find out what was happening, blah blah blah. We’d still be safe and sound down that basement if he’d kept his mouth shut!

Look, I’m no coward. I don’t care what that…look, we were fine in the basement. I wasn’t the one saying those windows would hold. I was the one saying they wouldn’t hold! And did they? DID THEY?!

And was it my bright idea to go out for the gas? Did I shoot the lock off the tank and light the truck—the only vehicle!—ablaze? No! No, I was inside the house looking after the women. That’s right, they left me alone with my wife Helen, big help she is, that nutty girl and my injured kid. 

But when That Man got back in—when he broke down our secure door and led all those murder happy ghouls in with him!—did I just leave him and run back downstairs? No! Because I am not a coward. I helped him nail the door shut again.

And what happened then? What happened when that… that violent, uppity bastard is safely back inside the house, thanks to me? After he cost us our only vehicle? He punched me! He assaulted me! 

I had to get that gun! Two people were dead already on account of him and his big ideas. We weren’t safe with him around! Assaulting us and waving that gun around! 

I’m no coward! If we’d just stayed down that basement! If everybody had just listened to me. I was right. I was right!

I am not a coward.

-Cooper

*by Hope Madden. Voiceover by George Wolf. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Lola

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*by Hope Madden. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Villain Diaries: Margaret White

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Front Porch Forum

Member Outreach | Front Porch Forum

Hello, neighbors! You all know me, the daughter of the light who comes ‘round to remind you of the teenager’s path to salvation through the cross of Jesus. These are Godless times. The children are wandering through the wilderness of sin these days. But there is a path! We can help them see the sin of their days and ways. We can help them remain sinless. 

I’m here on the Lord’s work, spreading the gospel of God’s salvation through Christ’s blood. I want to invite you to send your teenager to me. They are overstimulated, surrounded by temptation. But in my prayer closet, your child will have time to think and pray. 

Eve was weak. Don’t you be weak. Don’t let your children be weak. I can see inside them. I can see their sin as surely as God can. Send them to me. We’ll pray. 

Any time, day or night! You know where to find me, the big white house on Caroline Street.

I pray you find Jesus.

-Margaret White

*by Hope Madden. Voiceover Hope Madden. Audio production George Wolf. Art by Michael Anthony Carroll.

Disclaimer: Villain Diaries is a non-commercial work of fan fiction and parody. All characters, names, and elements from the film belong to their respective copyright and trademark holders. I don’t own them and I’m not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by the creators, studios, or rights holders. This piece is an original creative commentary inspired by their work. It is shared for free, for entertainment and critical purposes, and earns me no money. If you’re a rights holder and have concerns, please contact me at maddwolf95@gmail.com and I’ll respond promptly.

Outtakes

Neither Itsy Nor Bitsy

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Don’t Move

by Rachel Willis

The first scene of director Maclain Nelson’s film Don’t Move is the kind of opening that one will either find brutally traumatizing or emotionally manipulative. Or perhaps a little of both. Either way, it starts with a bang.

Things slow down a bit as we spend time with Megan (Lyndsy Fonseca) while she processes the events of the opening scene. She’s persuaded to take a long-weekend camping trip with Pastor Rizzo (Tom Cavanagh) and a half-a-dozen others.

It’s surprisingly easy to find the cast endearing rather than irritating. Even though two macho dudes (Joseph Lee Anderson and Ricky Vargas) threaten to derail the peace Megan seeks while camping, their back-and-forth jabs are delivered with such flair, you’re entertained rather than annoyed.

The film moves slowly toward the inexorable confrontation between man and… something in the woods as our camping group settles in. The acting among the many cast members remains top notch, and a touching relationship builds between Pastor Rizzo and his daughter Emma (Hunter King). This could have devolved into a stereotypical “daughter hates and resents overbearing father,” but instead their relationship is more believable. It’s not perfect, but it’s sweet.

Once the action picks up, things get interesting. Jump scares are few, which makes them even more effective. The cast continues to work well together, so even as their situation deteriorates, we want them to succeed in overcoming the monster in the woods. It’s unfortunate that one of the strongest cast members (Vargas) is saddled with exceedingly cliché one-liners. The movie would have worked so much better if the character had been more original.

Of course, one of the hallmarks of any movie with a cast greater than five is that characters often rely on tropes to let us get to know them. Success here relies on the strength of the actors. In this case, they more than meet the challenge of differentiating themselves.

The cast and good special effects help create a film that’s a cut above similar fare.

Hope Madden and George Wolf … get it?